Whether you’re a Kehlani gay or an Ariana gay (or neither but like, get with it), you’ve probably heard love languages discussed in pop culture, on social media, or in some cute girl’s Hinge profile. The theory is that there are five main ways we all express and experience love: acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. A couple of dos and don’ts before we continue:
- Do: take a quiz to find out your love language and share the results with your friends or crush!
- Don’t: endorse the hetero- and cis-centric origins of the love languages concept. Expressions of love can’t be generalized based on gender, and any legitimate concept of love has to include us queer folks. For example, as a lesbian who loves TV, Kirsten’s love language is watching Glee together, for Naya, obviously.
Okay, so. One of the most interesting things about love languages is that we each have our preferred way of receiving love and a preferred way of giving it. The key to making this work with our romantic partners, friends, and family is to communicate both of those to each other, and find a harmonious balance between the two.
Gifts to yourself also matter, even if that isn’t your primary love language. Most of us don’t think about things we do or buy for ourselves as gifts. But that’s what they are! Doing kind things, giving yourself what you want, those are gifts. Giving a gift to a friend can also be a gift to yourself, especially when you’re able to shop ethically - in ways that support sustainability, fair pay and treatment of everyone involved, and communities you’re part of or allied with.
Of course, today we’re focusing on gift-giving because that’s a big part of what Make-Believe’s all about! We combine fun gifts with meaningful support of the makers. Plus, Valentine’s Day is coming up and for better or worse, we’re all thinking more about love and gifts in February.
And the gift to us all during the past two weeks, Something We Think Is Gay:
Okay, I know I’ve already made one TV reference in this post but we simply have to discuss the homosexual undertones between Kathryn Hahn’s Agnes and Elizabeth Olsen’s Wanda Maximoff in Marvel’s Wandavision. The number of times they touch, giggle over seduction advice, and lean towards each other, and the way that Lizzie holds Kathryn by the hips to guide her out of the kitchen! The MCU is still severely lacking in outright queer content (until Tessa Thompson becomes the queer king of Asgard and hopefully smooches Natalie Portman), so for now we’ll all have to keep making things up ourselves, including daydreaming about these two kissing on screen in their fake sitcom world.